Why Wanting to See a Difference Isn't Enough

Here I sit all snuggled in my easy recliner. Bedroom shoes on, flannel shirt and a soft, cozy blanket wrapped all around me (as much as I can and still type). It's uncomfortable outside and so I have opted to stay inside where it's safe and secure and I control the thermostat. And to be honest with you, I'm ok with that. I have no real desire to do anything else at this moment. No desire to clean my office - but I do want it done. No desire to sort my closet - though it's obnoxiously disorganized at present. No desire to clean the fridge - though it's full of unwanted holiday foods. No, thank you. I'll stay right where I am. Fiddle dee dee. Tomorrow is another day.

And right there in a nutshell is the essence of this blog. You probably have it figured out and perhaps are ready to shut down the computer before I step on your toes. Mine are bruised enough already. The truth is that most of us really do want change. The idea of being thinner, stronger, neater, more successful is very appealing. We create vision boards and collect Pinterest ideas. We attend workshops, talk about it at the water cooler, text our girlfriends about it and post countless memes on Facebook to underscore how serious we are. If only that's how it worked. If only all we had to do was want to see a difference. . . 

Hold on - I've got an idea. Let's meditate on it. Let's listen to a podcast. Let's desire it more. Maybe, if we try hard enough, we can just conjur up enough self loathing "motivation" to get the job done. 

Eventually, we start. We test the waters. We dip in our toes. We tell ourselves we will try this new regimen out and (my favorite) "see if it's for me".  I hear it all the time. All talk, no commitment. (I'm guilty here, too. No stone throwing from me.) And then, months, weeks, sometimes just days down the road we are back to our same old same old with a list of excuses about what went wrong and how we were just testing it anyway.  The truth is change is uncomfortable and unfamiliar. It may make you feel nervous and scared. You need to remind yourself you're safe and be kind to yourself.

So, then, what makes the difference? How does one actually change?

That's it. The secret sauce. If you want to be different, you have to be willing to change. Sadly, it is my belief and experience that most of us aren't. We say we want it. We believe we're supposed  to want it. We can even know we need it. But the bottom line is, most of us are not willing to change. We don't want to do the work. We aren't willing to really give anything up. We don't want to pay the money or the price. We want change to land on us and fix us. What we want is magic. And that is a terribly disempowering mindset. That kind of thinking implies that 1) You don't think you can do anything about your situation and 2) You don't believe you're responsible for your future.  And that means you will never change. Not really. Not for the long term.

                                    

Thankfully, that is not the whole story. You can change. You can choose differently. You can write a new story. You hold the pen. And, I might add, only you can do it. No one can move you to that type of action until you are willing to do it.

The great - the incredible - news is that you really can do it! You can slam the door on your excuses. You can call a halt to procrastination. You can decide you're sticking with your plan. You hold the wand. You are the fairy. As Glenda the Good Witch said, "You've always had the power". You may need a helping hand - that's what we coaches do. You may need some information to get you started on a "program". Just know that any restrictions are always in your hands to follow or not. You have full choice. You don't have to do anything. It's on you. That's the good and the bad news. It's your life. It's your health. It's your body, job, marriage, happiness... It's all yours. As a mentor says, "BE. DO. LIVE."