The truth is many, if not most, of us want to lose weight and feel we
should lose weight. After all, all of
society, our doctors, food companies, the gym people are sending out that message and somehow make us feel less
than for being more than. More than what? More than them. More than the charts
say is good. More than you want to be – in that way. But isn’t more supposed to
be a good thing?
And here’s a question? When did we decide what is good and
what is bad? And when did our self-worth get locked up into it? I remember many
times feeling self-conscious and bad for eating good! What’s that about? I felt
like I must be bad to need to eat good and I felt deprived that I couldn’t eat
what everyone else was eating. And I’ve felt that way a lot! So even doing the
good thing made me feel bad.
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| 2008 - Living life in Hawaii - outrigger canoeing and sailing |
And then what happens? We spiral.
We self-loathe. We fuss at ourselves. We garner up determination. We dream of
Arnold Schwarzenegger coming to our home and making us do the things we’re not
doing. Oh, wait. Maybe that’s me. But, seriously, I did that. I remember trying
to figure out how to get him take me on as a special project. And then one day,
the Oprah Show did it. I was tracked for a year and you know, did great,
because I might get caught not doing great. (This is called external motivation.) As a result, though, I tapped into some really healthy eating … and
I began to learn that weight issues might be more about psychology than what I
was actually eating. It was a turning point. The benefits from that year of
change carried me forward for many years. I learned that I could do physically
challenging things (even at a heavy weight). I fell in love with hiking,
cycling, and running (to a point). I gained an appreciation for healthy eating
and learned to lose weight without great deprivation. All of these served me.
Note: External motivation will
only take you so far. It’s dependent on others. For true, lasting change your
motivation must come from inside you. This takes a bit of digging.
However, as time moved on and life stressors impacted me, I
began to lose some of the good habits I’d established. I gained back some of
the weight. I started cycling through ultra-dedicated workouts, green smoothie
life, doing all the things. I would lose a modest amount of weight, gain it
back and then try again. And to be honest, I got tired of it all. I grew weary
of working so hard for so little profit. And bit by bit, I gave up. Almost
overnight, it seemed, I was within 10 pounds of the weight I’d been 10 years
earlier. Physically, I felt awful. I was in considerable pain. At one point, I was
using a cane to try and relieve my knee pain. My whole body hurt. My neck felt
fat. I’d grown more chin than my neck and face needed. My lungs felt strained
when I tried to walk and my breathing was heavy. I was in emotional pain, felt
disconnected spiritually and was frustrated in my spirit.
What’s your story? How do you feel around the whole weight
conversation? How do you feel inside? Do you feel shame? Embarrassment? Like a
failure? Like you should have more self-control than that? Do you resist help?
Change? Healthy options?
Maybe, just maybe, you don’t feel worthy. Maybe somewhere
down deep that you don’t like to go, you’re trying to hide – protect yourself –
punish yourself. Maybe you’re actually afraid of losing weight, being exposed,
desired, seen.
It might seem crazy to you right
now but the truth is: you’re o.k. You are not broken. One of the things you may
need to relinquish is your old tape recorder that plays over and over telling
you how you failed AGAIN. What if, instead,
your tape recorder said: You’re awesome. You’re beautiful. What if you could
give thanks for the body part you want to hide? What do you think would happen
if you could look at your legs and express gratitude for the miles they’ve
carried you? For the lap they provide for your kids. And if they hurt a lot, what
if you were thankful they can let you know that you need some attention? What
if you told yourself how awesome you are? What if you asked your body what it’s
looking for in hunger? What if you learned to slow down when you had strong
desires for food when you know you’re not hungry and then ask, “What do you
really need?”. Heather K. Jones creator of FBEB (Feel Better Eat Better) teaches a great practice of checking in
with yourself – frequently, even hourly, and asking yourself how you’re doing.
What do you need? Are you thirsty? Learning to communicate with yourself in a
caring and attentive way can set you up for all kinds of success.
Does that sound flippy, dippy to
you? Too _________? Well, what if I told you you’re doing it all the time?
You’re engaged in conversation with yourself and affirming things (positive and
negative) all the time. Your old tape recorded is on auto play rerunning all
the bad and rarely the good. You and only you can actually change that tape.
You have the power – the total power- to rewrite the script and contradict the
negative talk you fed in long ago. BUT you must learn to hear your voice,
recognize the self-defeating self-talk.
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| Oct 2017 when I decided to change whatever I needed to. |
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| Me taking some time to nurture my soul. |
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| Feeling healthy and sassy. |
Back to my personal story. It’s
ongoing but here is the current scoop. As 2017 moved on and I grieved the death
of both of my parents and tried to face my health issues, I began to genuinely
believe I had already lived the best part of my life. I was 56 years old and
had seen the best parts of myself already. I was buying into society’s [stupid
and erroneous] belief that “it’s all downhill from here”. I was ready to sell
my home mainly because I couldn’t function in it well anymore – couldn’t climb
the steps, couldn’t walk the length without pain. I was done. And then, a little glimmer of hope peeked in. First of all,
through my coaching training, I was coached. I experienced a profound moment
where I realized, through a coaching exercise with my instructor/trainer/coach (Sean Smith), that I knew what I wanted and
had the wisdom to get there. In that, there was a measure of accountability and
some external motivation, but the real changed happened because of my internal motivation. I was tired of hurting. I wanted my life back.
I no longer cared about anyone else’s opinion around my course of action. I
wanted to be WELL! I began a program (after watching a friend’s profound change
and hearing her cardiologist’s opinion) that is anti-inflammatory and
homeopathic. I hoped to feel some better and maybe lose a little weight.
(Seriously low expectations here.) I took the changes to heart and decided that
I was just as free to not eat certain
foods as I was to eat them, if that’s
what served me best. And in the process, I’ve changed my whole life. Changing
my eating cleared my brain, banished my pain, released weight and basically,
gave me my life back. God has used this powerfully in my life to help me be
open to new things and release other things that weren’t for my best good.
It’s still a process. I still have much to learn. I don’t know “it all”. But I am learning. And I am changing. And
I want to help you change. Your story is not over. Whatever it is that’s got a
grip on you – or you have a grip on – it doesn’t have to hold you forever.
Today you can make choices to change. You can relinquish weight and do it
joyfully.
AFFIRM things that are encouraging
and believable. Write your story beautifully.
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| "I eat nutritious, delicious food." |
CHECK IN often and see what you’re
actually feeling and needing.
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| My cute bento "box" I use to take my healthy options with me. |
REDIRECT negative thinking and
replace with positive truth.
NURTURE your body, soul and mind.
WATER yourself. Hydration is key
to a healthy body and an alert mind.
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| March 2018 48 lbs gone |
And be willing to relinquish your “freedom” in
order to be free. You have the complete freedom to eat whatever you want –
including delicious, nutritious food – even when everyone else is choosing
something else.
