Before we get into that subject, however, let's take a look at a substantial issue in our world today that may be interfering with our joy. It may contribute some joy, as well, so don't despair. Social media, and in particular, Facebook (which I truly love more days than not). I could probably write a complete paper on this issue, but to be honest, I think it would diminish my joy. Therefore, I will not.
Facebook has morphed considerably since it's birth and now this platform that was designed to gather college kids and help them build a community (maybe that wasn't it's actual beginning, but that's the first way I remember it) is now a broad stage for airing beliefs, advertising, attacking strangers (and friends), taking a stand on all manner of issues, coaching (cough), spam and more. Some of those are both "good" and "bad". By that I mean the impact they have on our lives (and that's subjective anyway). The point is, your Facebook feed alone, has the power to contribute more OR LESS joy to your life depending on how you interpret and respond to it. You have a considerable amount of control over this, so don't be a victim.
I have chosen, as a general life practice, to look for and choose to find the joy in each day. I'll admit that sometimes that's more difficult than others. Sometimes I flat out fail in this endeavor and some days it doesn't even occur to me to try. I have to be honest here because I'm pretty sure if you look at my Facebook, you'll see the joy but not so much the heartache. I tend to be quiet on the tough days. But that is also deliberate. Not to fool anyone, or pretend to have a fabulous life, but rather, to give you a more joyful Facebook encounter with me. I get to choose how I present myself to you and I am responsible for the energy I bring to my world. I choose joy.
Tip #1 BRING MORE JOY TO OTHERS
As much and as often as you can, contribute to others in a joyful, kind, loving way. Even when you disagree or feel compelled to take a stand, consider a respectful way. Give compliments, Smile, Make eye contact. Offer the help, the hug, the tender expression of understanding. (I can improve here.) When you enter a room , be aware that you can choose what mood you add to the scene. I'm reminded of the times, I enter a group and start complaining about my drive, how I feel, etc. What a joy buster! I'm not suggesting you be inauthentic or lie or "just be positive". Rather, I suggest, you resist the urge to let everyone know evertything that's wrong. You can answer honestly though, "It's been a tough day, but I feel better being with all of you." You can hold off on sharing til you've had time to settle down. You can ask about others and listen to their answers. And when I say "you", I mean "we". On social media, give others pleasant things to look at and read. Pause before you respond. My rule is: If you wouldn't yell it out at a party, don't say it on Facebook. The way Facebook is set up now, people you don't even know can see your comments and you may be insulting them, arguing with them, demeaning them without any understanding. Think about them.
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
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Tip #2 DELIGHT IN THE MUNDANE
I am pretty sure the thing that really won my husband over and made him fall in love with me is this trait of mine. I take joy in the smallest things! It is somewhat my personality, but it can be cultivated (through obeservation and thanksgiving). And I'm not just talking about finding the silver lining, though there is value in that, as well. When my husband and I were not yet dating, but had built a really great friendship, we were hanging out and I was making myself some dinner. Part of that dinner was some simple, blanched broccoli. Boring, right? Not to me. Do you know that when you toss the broccoli into the boiling water it turns bright green? Well, it does! I commented on it and made him look and I'm pretty sure the rest is history. If joy is found where you look for it, and I'm convinced it is, look for it everywhere. Even in the broccoli. 34 years later and we still talk about that moment.
Tip #3 CREATE JOYFUL MOMENTS (and share them)
Do you know what I'm doing this morning? Watching it snow. In a part of Georgia where it rarely snows. I had to get up early on a Saturday to see it. The forecast was for the snow to fall overnight and then, as it happens in Georgia, temperatures were expected to rise, meaning most will miss the snow. I awoke at 5:13 and as I debated going back to sleep, I remembered the forecast. Snow. I love snow. I especially love watching snow fall. So, I climbed out of my toasty bed, pulled on a sweater over my snuggly pjs, made myself a Kcup, and cozied up on the couch. Bummer, though, because it was pitch black outside. So, I got up frequently and looked. I checked my weather app. Over and over. And then I saw it! "Snow"! I jumped up and checked outside and sure enough, there it was. I turned on the flood lights so I can see it from my couch. I went on the porch and plugged in my kaleidoscope light projector so that my neighbors could see snow and my sparkling lights (if they got up early and peeked out) - that's Tip #1 in action. And then I counted my blessings (Tip #4).
Tip #4 COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Yes, have an attitude of gratitude. Give thanks to the Lord. Appreciate pretty much everything. The more you do this, the more Tips 1, 2 and 3 will fall into place. Life is incredibly imperfect. I can attest to that. But, that does not mean you can't have a joyful life. Your joy is up to you. Hear me. You have to take time to recognize the blessings you have been given. If you are not grateful for what you have already been given, why oh why would God give you more? (Although, surprisingly, He does. It's His nature.) The sad truth is, when we neglect to give thanks and appreciate, we totally miss out on the blessing because we never even acknowledged it. Oh there is a mountain of truth in this. Please don't miss it. You will never have a joyful life without gratitude. You will always feel cheated.
Some days may be so very hard that you cannot find the joy, the gratitude. I know. So you then have to stop looking for the extraordinary and really focus on finding the good in the mundane. Do you have curtains? Give thanks. Are you warm? Give thanks. Is there food in your house (even if you don't like it)? Give thanks. You are blessed! You are! That doens't mean everything is good. And it's not a Pollyanna response. No. You can acknowledge difficulty and pain, and you should. Hiding from it will not serve you. The difference is that you choose to also acknowledge the good. And it's there.
I have only scratched the surface. I am not trying to be cute or simplistic . I am simply and absolutely sure that more joy is possible. You can do this thing. Bit by bit. Go boil some water and pitch in some broccoli .
Tip #3 CREATE JOYFUL MOMENTS (and share them)
Do you know what I'm doing this morning? Watching it snow. In a part of Georgia where it rarely snows. I had to get up early on a Saturday to see it. The forecast was for the snow to fall overnight and then, as it happens in Georgia, temperatures were expected to rise, meaning most will miss the snow. I awoke at 5:13 and as I debated going back to sleep, I remembered the forecast. Snow. I love snow. I especially love watching snow fall. So, I climbed out of my toasty bed, pulled on a sweater over my snuggly pjs, made myself a Kcup, and cozied up on the couch. Bummer, though, because it was pitch black outside. So, I got up frequently and looked. I checked my weather app. Over and over. And then I saw it! "Snow"! I jumped up and checked outside and sure enough, there it was. I turned on the flood lights so I can see it from my couch. I went on the porch and plugged in my kaleidoscope light projector so that my neighbors could see snow and my sparkling lights (if they got up early and peeked out) - that's Tip #1 in action. And then I counted my blessings (Tip #4).
Tip #4 COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Yes, have an attitude of gratitude. Give thanks to the Lord. Appreciate pretty much everything. The more you do this, the more Tips 1, 2 and 3 will fall into place. Life is incredibly imperfect. I can attest to that. But, that does not mean you can't have a joyful life. Your joy is up to you. Hear me. You have to take time to recognize the blessings you have been given. If you are not grateful for what you have already been given, why oh why would God give you more? (Although, surprisingly, He does. It's His nature.) The sad truth is, when we neglect to give thanks and appreciate, we totally miss out on the blessing because we never even acknowledged it. Oh there is a mountain of truth in this. Please don't miss it. You will never have a joyful life without gratitude. You will always feel cheated.
Some days may be so very hard that you cannot find the joy, the gratitude. I know. So you then have to stop looking for the extraordinary and really focus on finding the good in the mundane. Do you have curtains? Give thanks. Are you warm? Give thanks. Is there food in your house (even if you don't like it)? Give thanks. You are blessed! You are! That doens't mean everything is good. And it's not a Pollyanna response. No. You can acknowledge difficulty and pain, and you should. Hiding from it will not serve you. The difference is that you choose to also acknowledge the good. And it's there.
I have only scratched the surface. I am not trying to be cute or simplistic . I am simply and absolutely sure that more joy is possible. You can do this thing. Bit by bit. Go boil some water and pitch in some broccoli .
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