How Shallow Am I?

Today, this very morning, I sit on my screened-in porch, thankful for the air that fills my lungs, the squawks of the birds, the hint of a breeze. I am in awe of magnitude of the Lord and the beauty He created. I am thankful to be alive. But that’s not the whole story.

I am also grieved in my spirit. This morning I awoke to learn of the death of a friend from years ago. Last night I learned of the passing of another friend’s mother. I’ve spent the past several days absorbing the loss of life due to war, the grief of widows and mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. Perhaps it’s the combined effect of these stories that leads me where I am today.

As I crashed headlong into the harsh reality of life that ends all too suddenly, I came face to face with an undeniable truth. We are an incredibly shallow people. I pondered this question: How much time and energy do we waste worrying over a pound gained or lost, the size of our clothes, what someone said (or didn’t)? How consumed are we over the thoughts, opinions and actions of people and what brand of shoes they are or are not wearing? How much time are we expending casting stones at others, worried about the splinters in their eyes while we have a log in ours? How much love are we withholding because of hurt feelings – never thinking that today may be our last day to give love to someone?

Do you not know, dear friend, that you can disagree and still show love? Do you not know that your friend is against an idea not you? Can you not see that some are blinded by their own pain? Do you not have the ability to consider things from another perspective?

I am incredibly shallow. I fret over pounds gained or not lost. I have anxiety over gluten and sugar sometimes. I want you to like my outfit, hair & house. And, yes, while I don’t need your approval, I sure do like it. Today, I’ve caught myself being fretting about not having as high a grade as I’d like to have – as if that really matters. Who cares? What difference does it really make in the length of life? I believe in taking care of our bodies and working hard, but for goodness’ sake we - I -  get so off-track sometimes!

If I’ve learned anything over the past few days (and the past year), I’ve learned that life is short and death can come quickly and unexpectedly. I’ve had good news recently and would love to share it with my mom and dad. When I put on my leopard print shirt last night, I couldn’t help but think of my mom – she would like that and I feel it’s a bit of her imprint on me. I wish my parents could see me losing the unhealthy pounds I carried for so long – I know they worried about me.

And, Christian friends, maybe I’ve missed it along the way, but I don’t think we’re called to bash other Christians every time they don’t get it quite right or demean the unbelievers for not “getting it”. I do, however, recall Jesus giving the religious a tongue-lashing for caring more about being seen doing the “right thing” and not remembering God looks on the heart. I know we’re called to uphold sound doctrine – I’m not questioning that. I just believe we can do it without being mean or cruel.

I really don’t know where all this is going. I simply want to draw attention to the brevity of life and the temporal things we’re getting hung up on. I long to be more like Christ and I realize I have a long way to go. I long to make a bigger difference in the lives of the hurting, but in order to do that I’m going to have to stop licking my own wounds enough to look up.

We are called to love. We are called to serve. Meaningful change starts in your own heart – and mine.