Let me get right to the point this morning. How long are you
going to stay where you are, doing what you’re doing and refusing to change?
There. I said it. I asked the real
question. The one that gnaws at me in my
own soul. How long are you going to complain about not getting results you
didn’t work for? How long are you going to accept a mediocre version of
yourself and pretend that it’s the best you can give.
Hold on! That last one
really pricks. It stings. It smacks at the hardcore unvarnished truth. Well,
now. I didn’t expect to go that deep that fast.
Listen, if I don’t tell it to you straight, I’m not doing
you any good. If you’re going to shut me out every time I speak up, why am I even
here? In fact, if you’re going to complain and whine about all of my [awesome] suggestions, I’m going to quit
helping you. I’m going to shut up. I’m
going to quit telling you the truth and let you see how long you’ll stay happy
swimming in your mediocre muck!
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| Soul Food |
Whoo, boy! That cuts, doesn’t it? Sharp, sharp words. Mean
and nasty – and oh, so true! Like you, like your friends and neighbors, I’m a
master at self-victimization. Only thing is, I don’t call it that. I call it “doing
the best I can” or “that’s just how I am” or “the stars weren’t aligned, it
wasn’t God’s will, I can’t help it”. But the truth is, I’m allowing it and
worse than that, I’m causing it. And so are you.
Every time we blame others or circumstances for our situation,
we victimize ourselves. Every time we deny our ability to change, we surrender
the power we have over the situation and label ourselves as helpless. Just
because we use euphemisms to describe it doesn’t mean we’re not doing it. Let’s
get real about it.
The thing is – I don’t think we need to blame anyone. And that means
ourselves, too. Blaming and accusing isn’t great material for growth. I say,
let’s just acknowledge our position of power. Let’s reclaim our personal choice
in the matters that matter. There are tons of things we cannot control in a day,
for sure. But, my question is, what are we doing about the ones we can control?
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| My health food. |
- What are we putting in our mouths?
- How and when are we strengthening our bodies?
- When are we going to bed, getting up, feeding our souls?
- How much time are we spending on social media, watching junk t.v., reading meaningless material, texting instead of talking, while we complain that we don’t make enough money, have meaningful relationships, weigh what we want, have any energy?
This isn’t sexy to talk about – I know it. But my friend, if
we don’t face up to how we’re sabotaging our hopes and dreams, we will keep riding the hamster wheel that’s taking us nowhere. Encouragement is not patting
someone, even yourself, on the head and saying “You did the best you could. You’re
all you can be. You can’t help it.” No. Real encouragement is saying, “Put on
your shoes and let’s run this race together! You can do more than you think.
You are worth another shot. God loves you and so do I!”. Real encouragement
calls a brother or sister up alongside. Real encouragement is laced with tons of belief in
a person’s ability to rise above their circumstance.
I’m not here to tell you that you don’t need God. In fact, I’m
not even here to tell you that you don’t face some real challenges. But I am
here to challenge you to take responsibility for your say so in the matter. I’m here to challenge you to consider
how you might do things differently if you’re not getting the results you want.
I’m issuing a call to CHANGE.
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Urgent or important?  |
I believe God is in control of our ultimate destiny. The
Bible says, “A man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps”
(paraphrased, Proverbs 16:9). And I personally believe in seeking God and His
will for our lives. I also believe that we make many decisions each day that
play a part in how we travel this
life. I’m suggesting here that we might benefit from taking an honest look at
our choices day in and day out and reckon with their impact on our current
situation. This is what I mean when I say we need to take our power back and
stop putting ourselves in the role of victim.
Consider some things:
- Who are you hanging around and do they encourage you to grow - by their words, by their own choices? Are they of excellent character? (Can you love them without spending tons of time around them if they’re not?)
- How do you run your day? Are you in control of your time? Are you making time for what’s truly important or simply chasing after the urgent all day?
- What are you putting in your brain? Do you read uplifting, intellectual things? Is your thought life driven by trashy books, disparaging comedy/music, the news, your social media feed – to name a few that I judge as draining, depleting?
- Are you feeding your soul intentionally?
- Are you finding your feel-good moments in ways that do not serve you? (Food, alcohol, drugs, porn, egomania)
- Are you satisfied with being less than you believe you were created to be?
What change are you resisting that you know would help you? We are afraid of change. I get it. If we
change, others may not accept us. If we change, everything will be different.
If we change we can never do x, y or z again – or so we fear. I only
know who I am now. How can I be something else? I get that.
Here’s an idea. What if you stop trying to do all the right things and you concentrated
on who you want to be? I decided I
want to be healthy. That changed some
choices for me. I decided I want to be
in full integrity with myself and that led to me changing some disingenuous
behavior. I decided I want to be more
in tune with God and so I began to create more time for time in the Word and
prayer. I decided I wanted to be a more
powerful person for myself and others and so I began to change and adopt some
habits that are more in alignment with that desire.
My friend. You have more control than you think. You, like me, are
making choices day in and day out that are impacting your place in life. I personally
don’t know anyone who can’t improve in some area or another so trust me, I’m
not putting you down. My goal is to help you look up and decide to pick
yourself up. Come on now. You can do it.
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