Pandemic Leadership

I've invented a new term - a new niche, if you will - for life coaching. The niche is called Pandemic Leadership. I'm pretty sure I'll make a fortune. Then again, maybe not, because it's  possible that the ones who are in need don't know it.

Some things to consider:

1. Are you responsible for a group, a team, an office? Are you a supervisor, executive, manager? 
2. As such, do people rely on you to lead, guide and direct their work, performance, or production?
3. Is your normal leadership style distinctly hands-off or very involved? (It may be more in the middle but how does it look to your team?_
4. Are you engaging with your team regularly?
5. Are you feeling uncertain as to what to do?
6. Are you feeling anxious yourself working from home and possibly with children/spouses there?
7. Are you worried about funding, the future, your job, your team members' jobs?
8. Are your supervisors communicating with you? 
9. Do you feel reluctant to engage lest you make a promise you can't keep or because you don't have a clue what to say?

Any of these could be reason enough to examine where you fall in the realm of Pandemic Leadership. 

Let me quickly reassure you that up until now you've done what you know to do. Whatever you (or others) may sense is lacking, you've done what you know to do and that's been the best you had to offer at the time. Just because someone else might have "done it better" or thinks you could have, doesn't mean you didn't give your best. The question is: can you/should you do more and if so, what?

Pandemic by definition means prevalent over a whole country or world. That's a lot to ponder. And it's a heavy weight for your team, too. You may not be able to affect the whole world but you can impact your team and that can have a ripple effect that can positively impact your organization and the people in it. If you can improve your small corner of the world, shouldn't you? Odds are your team needs you and is looking to you to show them the way through this uncharted territory.

Here are some very simple things that you can do to get started. 

• Put people over profits. People are your most valuable asset - and they can tell when you're thinking of them or when you're more worried about the bottom line (or yourself). Whether it's your team or your customers, it's incredibly valuable to put your energy into the people and what they need. Most need reassurance that you simply care. 
• Communicate in a meaningful way. In other words, show you care. Consider what speaks to them most. Is it time, or words of affirmation, a gift of some sort? A simple thank you card can hit many of these. Even a personal text can mean a lot. Broad messages of support, encouragement and the organizations ability to move through the pandemic to greener pastures are also essential. People need to be reassured!
• Communicate regularly. And I don't mean to check up on their work. Send out team emails - daily. Find things to share with them that are encouraging. They need to hear from you even if it seems silly. Set up individual calls and encourage supervisors under you to do the same. Have team meetings weekly, even if all you do is just hang out. This is the new way to open your office door. Your people need to see and hear you. 
• Be transparent. I cannot stress this more. Yes, I can. BE TRANSPARENT !!! There. It is not a weak posture to admit that you feel uncertain or that you're learning how to manage the work, team, customers in this new situation. When you let your team know that you aren't working a perfect 9-5 day and that you've had to make adjustments to your workday, you give them permission to do the same. When you are willing to hold telemeetings with kids running around, they won't worry so much about their spouse walking through the room (just make sure they've got their pants on). 
• Be involved (but don't micromanage). Not sure there's much more to say. You've got to free your team to work on their own, but you still need to be involved. I encourage checking in now and again, see if they are clear on what they can be doing, free them from unnecessary tasks, respond to their emails and texts. 
• Reduce your expectations. You have to understand that your employees/team are in an imperfect, new environment for work - and they probably have kids, animals and spouses to contend with as they attempt to work. Most likely, they are not sitting at a desk in a private office. They might be using their bed for their desk. Be okay with a different output than normal. It's expected. Allow them to work when it's best for them as long as they're reasonably available when needed and respond in a timely way.
• Listen for clues that your team needs help. Read between the lines. Are they quiet? Are they trying to clue you in to something? Are they using words like bored, lonely, tired? These can be indicators that you need to engage personally. Make a phone call. Set up a facetime coffee chat. 

The heart of this is really one thing and it goes back to the first thing. People over profits. That's not to say the profits don't matter. Of course they matter. But, taking care of the people will ultimately help you take care of the profits (or the program you're managing). You are your team's leader. You don't have to be the CEO to be the leader. You might be an executive or you might be a middle manager -  it doesn't matter. Your leaders may be dropping the ball, but you don't have to. During this pandemic, true leaders will rise to the occasion and make sure their team feels supported and cared for. This will take intention and may require more creativity than what you've done in the past. And when we all get "back to normal" or our new normal, your team will thank you and I believe your organization and leadership will be stronger than ever.

Joy in Relinquishing Weight

The truth is many, if not most, of us want to lose weight and feel we should lose weight. After all, all of society, our doctors, food companies, the gym people are sending out that message and somehow make us feel less than for being more than. More than what? More than them. More than the charts say is good. More than you want to be – in that way. But isn’t more supposed to be a good thing?

And here’s a question? When did we decide what is good and what is bad? And when did our self-worth get locked up into it? I remember many times feeling self-conscious and bad for eating good! What’s that about? I felt like I must be bad to need to eat good and I felt deprived that I couldn’t eat what everyone else was eating. And I’ve felt that way a lot! So even doing the good thing made me feel bad.

2008 - Living life in Hawaii - outrigger canoeing and sailing

And then what happens? We spiral. We self-loathe. We fuss at ourselves. We garner up determination. We dream of Arnold Schwarzenegger coming to our home and making us do the things we’re not doing.  Oh, wait. Maybe that’s me.  But, seriously, I did that. I remember trying to figure out how to get him take me on as a special project. And then one day, the Oprah Show did it. I was tracked for a year and you know, did great, because I might get caught not doing great. (This is called external motivation.) As a result, though, I tapped into some really healthy eating … and I began to learn that weight issues might be more about psychology than what I was actually eating. It was a turning point. The benefits from that year of change carried me forward for many years. I learned that I could do physically challenging things (even at a heavy weight). I fell in love with hiking, cycling, and running (to a point). I gained an appreciation for healthy eating and learned to lose weight without great deprivation. All of these served me.

Note: External motivation will only take you so far. It’s dependent on others. For true, lasting change your motivation must come from inside you. This takes a bit of digging.

However, as time moved on and life stressors impacted me, I began to lose some of the good habits I’d established. I gained back some of the weight. I started cycling through ultra-dedicated workouts, green smoothie life, doing all the things. I would lose a modest amount of weight, gain it back and then try again. And to be honest, I got tired of it all. I grew weary of working so hard for so little profit. And bit by bit, I gave up. Almost overnight, it seemed, I was within 10 pounds of the weight I’d been 10 years earlier. Physically, I felt awful. I was in considerable pain. At one point, I was using a cane to try and relieve my knee pain. My whole body hurt. My neck felt fat. I’d grown more chin than my neck and face needed. My lungs felt strained when I tried to walk and my breathing was heavy. I was in emotional pain, felt disconnected spiritually and was frustrated in my spirit.

What’s your story? How do you feel around the whole weight conversation? How do you feel inside? Do you feel shame? Embarrassment? Like a failure? Like you should have more self-control than that? Do you resist help? Change? Healthy options?

Maybe, just maybe, you don’t feel worthy. Maybe somewhere down deep that you don’t like to go, you’re trying to hide – protect yourself – punish yourself. Maybe you’re actually afraid of losing weight, being exposed, desired, seen.

It might seem crazy to you right now but the truth is: you’re o.k. You are not broken. One of the things you may need to relinquish is your old tape recorder that plays over and over telling you how you failed AGAIN. What if, instead, your tape recorder said: You’re awesome. You’re beautiful. What if you could give thanks for the body part you want to hide? What do you think would happen if you could look at your legs and express gratitude for the miles they’ve carried you? For the lap they provide for your kids. And if they hurt a lot, what if you were thankful they can let you know that you need some attention? What if you told yourself how awesome you are? What if you asked your body what it’s looking for in hunger? What if you learned to slow down when you had strong desires for food when you know you’re not hungry and then ask, “What do you really need?”. Heather K. Jones creator of FBEB (Feel Better Eat Better) teaches a great practice of checking in with yourself – frequently, even hourly, and asking yourself how you’re doing. What do you need? Are you thirsty? Learning to communicate with yourself in a caring and attentive way can set you up for all kinds of success.

Does that sound flippy, dippy to you? Too _________? Well, what if I told you you’re doing it all the time? You’re engaged in conversation with yourself and affirming things (positive and negative) all the time. Your old tape recorded is on auto play rerunning all the bad and rarely the good. You and only you can actually change that tape. You have the power – the total power- to rewrite the script and contradict the negative talk you fed in long ago. BUT you must learn to hear your voice, recognize the self-defeating self-talk.

Oct 2017 when I decided to
change whatever I needed to. 

Me taking some time to nurture my soul.

Feeling healthy and sassy. 

Back to my personal story. It’s ongoing but here is the current scoop. As 2017 moved on and I grieved the death of both of my parents and tried to face my health issues, I began to genuinely believe I had already lived the best part of my life. I was 56 years old and had seen the best parts of myself already. I was buying into society’s [stupid and erroneous] belief that “it’s all downhill from here”. I was ready to sell my home mainly because I couldn’t function in it well anymore – couldn’t climb the steps, couldn’t walk the length without pain. I was done. And then, a little glimmer of hope peeked in. First of all, through my coaching training, I was coached. I experienced a profound moment where I realized, through a coaching exercise with my instructor/trainer/coach (Sean Smith), that I knew what I wanted and had the wisdom to get there. In that, there was a measure of accountability and some external motivation, but the real changed happened because of my internal motivation.  I was tired of hurting. I wanted my life back. I no longer cared about anyone else’s opinion around my course of action. I wanted to be WELL! I began a program (after watching a friend’s profound change and hearing her cardiologist’s opinion) that is anti-inflammatory and homeopathic. I hoped to feel some better and maybe lose a little weight. (Seriously low expectations here.) I took the changes to heart and decided that I was just as free to not eat certain foods as I was to eat them, if that’s what served me best. And in the process, I’ve changed my whole life. Changing my eating cleared my brain, banished my pain, released weight and basically, gave me my life back. God has used this powerfully in my life to help me be open to new things and release other things that weren’t for my best good.

It’s still a process. I still have much to learn. I don’t know “it all”. But I am learning. And I am changing. And I want to help you change. Your story is not over. Whatever it is that’s got a grip on you – or you have a grip on – it doesn’t have to hold you forever. Today you can make choices to change. You can relinquish weight and do it joyfully.

AFFIRM things that are encouraging and believable. Write your story beautifully.

"I eat nutritious, delicious food."

CHECK IN often and see what you’re actually feeling and needing.

My cute bento "box" I use
to take my healthy options with me.

REDIRECT negative thinking and replace with positive truth.

NURTURE your body, soul and mind.

WATER yourself. Hydration is key to a healthy body and an alert mind.

March 2018 48 lbs gone

And be willing to  relinquish your “freedom” in order to be free. You have the complete freedom to eat whatever you want – including delicious, nutritious food – even when everyone else is choosing something else.