My (not so) super morning

Have you ever had a morning that just didn't go the way you like? I mean, that's a pretty unimaginative question. Of course you have! You're normal right? I have a great number of completely awesome mornings. I really do. I'm a morning kind of person, so that helps. I also sleep 7 - 8 hours a night and that is a definite plus. So, yeah, my mornings, as a rule, are quite lovely. I work for myself and have a pretty soft schedule most days, leaving me the luxury of moving at the pace I choose. I read, write, pray and very often make time to sit by the lake in contemplation, soaking in nature's beauty. I love mornings. . . unless they don't go my way.

Look, I'm just keeping reaaaaal. I'm a happy person in general . . . unless things don't go my way. Whoo! I might get to preaching right here. Why? Because, as far as I can tell, we all are happy when we get our way. *Note: I'm  not speaking to or diminishing depression or other psychological situations.  I'm merely addressing human nature.* I remember my mother fussing at me for not being (or showing) appreciative of the things she did for me or sacrifices she made, or just being in a bad mood over a perceived injustice. Then, when she'd  buy me something I wanted or do something special, if I did thank her and make a big deal of it, she'd admonish me for that, saying "Sure, now you're happy. You got your way." Gah! I remember wondering what she'd have me do. Talk about frustrating mixed messages! But, yes, I'm happy when things go my way and (sometimes) not so happy when they don't. That's how I felt this morning.

As far as I know, I was peacefully sleeping, fighting the occasional hot flash, when I awoke for a simple trip to the restroom. I'm 57 - these things are not unusual. It was about 3 a.m. I returned to bed as per normal and snuggled down to resume my slumber. Next thing I knew, I was checking the clock again. 3:16 a.m. ugh! Then 3:30 something. Man! Finally at 3:58, I gave it up and climbed out of bed. I figured if I wasn't going to sleep, I might as well be productive. I spent the next while somewhat grumpily reading about the development of and different philosophies surrounding Christian counseling. In the words of my husband, "If that doesn't put you to sleep, nothing will!" . I squeezed out a 30 minute snooze around 6:30 then began my day in earnest. 

Here's what I noticed. I was allowing that middle of the night awakening to set a negative tone to my day.  I complained about it on Facebook, to my husband and in my heart. I resisted acknowledging it as a gift. I failed to be thankful for the good hours of sleep I'd had between 10 p.m. and 3 a.m. I didn't express sincere gratitude for the extra hours added to my day and the quiet time to read that counseling assignment. No, I griped. I haven't gone out to look at the lake either. What's up with that?

Friends, we all can act like this at times. We may face a seemingly undesirable situation and put all our focus on that, failing to see the beauty in it. I hear people say everything works out the way it should. I have resistance around that, but I know that God can use all things for good (Romans 8:28). And I know that as Christians, we are called to let our light shine before me (Matt 5:16). I don't think our light shines very brightly when we are complaining and focusing on the negative things. In that state, we become needy, snuffing out our light and often the light of those around us. 

Today I heard a song by my friend Chris Muglia that exhorts us to let Christ's light shine in us. If you've ever taken note of darkness around you, you know how badly people need light and hope. Sometimes, we put others down for advertising their happiness and the good things God is doing in their lives. We act as though all Christians are supposed to be low key, unobtrusive, unnoticeable. That's not what I see when I read Matthew 5:16 or the verses leading up to it.We are the light of the world,  a city on a hill (visible) - shining, guiding, pointing others to Christ, offering hope. 

After listening to Chris' song and meditating on Matthew 5:16 a bit, I decided to turn things around and let my light shine before me. I don't apologize for the joy I have - I want to share it. I don't write for my personal pleasure or out of desire to be recognized. I write to bring encouragement to you and others like you. I hope to ultimately show others the love of our Father in heaven and so glorify Him.

After reflection, and a little more coffee, I'm not too bothered by having risen so early. I've had a lovely, cozy morning on the couch. I've enjoyed extra time to think, meditate on God's word and engage with others on Facebook. I hope your day goes well and you can note the good things in your life. Many blessings to you this day. 

Who and What are You Listening To?

Head, heart and other input sources: Who tells you what to think?

This morning I’m sitting in my newly created “Creative Space”. That’s intended figuratively. And it’s intended literally. In case you’re unaware, in case you’re the one person I haven’t mentioned it to, in case you missed it all the other times – I’ve been on a discovery mission of finding more joy in my life by relinquishing habits, thoughts and sometimes, beliefs. Things that don’t serve me best. Oh, they may be great for you, but not for me. I’ve been so moved by the process that I’ve actually been teaching a class on the concept and highlighting things we may need to relinquish. In a nutshell, I could say that I’ve started listening to my heart. Oh, I know that the Bible says “The heart is deceitful above all things. Who can know it?”, and I don’t contradict that statement. I’m really talking about moving from my all-logical, fearful, resistant to change, self-serving head-talk into the passionate, purposeful, others-serving heart-talk. Now, it’s kind of new to me, so don’t judge too hard when you see me miss the mark. I will surely miss the mark. The thing that is really key is that as I’ve let go of some things, I’ve found the space to welcome in new things. And in that has come new creative space.

Not only, do I have a new creative heart space, I have, with my husband’s help, started creating a new physical creative space. A place that connects me to nature but stays dry (most of the time). A place that is cheerful, with party lights strung around it. A place that is separated out from the activity of the house. A place where I want to be with people – literally and figuratively – for though I am alone right now literally, I am with you, figuratively. *Warm fuzzy sensation all over.*

As if that weren’t enough, and it may have been, I’ve found even more creative space by following the leader. A teacher I admire shared with a group of us that he had adopted a new practice. He has decided to forego email, social media, music with vocals, and likely most other input sources, in the morning so that he can hear his own thoughts. So that he’s not chasing after other people’s itineraries, thoughts, urgencies all day. So that he creates his own calendar list of priorities. Radical, isn’t it? Can you imagine starting your day without anyone else telling you what to think?  With no social media arguments? With no to-do emails? With nothing added to your calendar? With no text messages? With no private messages? Imagine with me, waking up and putting on classical music… Let the scene envelope you. The peace.

Don’t you agree that we are bombarded with information 24/7? And can you admit that we let that determine so much of how our day goes and what we do? It fills our head with good things, heart things, sometimes, but mostly, it’s head things. Head knowledge. Shoulds, shouldn’ts, can’ts, won’ts, don’ts. And I believe it limits our own creativity because we cannot even hear our own thoughts --- hearts.

When I started relinquishing, one of the first things I noticed was my creativity came back. My desire to write, my desire to speak. And it felt so very good. I had lost touch with all of that in the quest to … well, in the quest. I was being driven. Even more accurately, I was allowing others to drive me. Gah! It’s so true, but it hurts me to admit it.

When I came home from “coach camp” (my nickname), I immediately implemented the new practice I’d heard about. I stopped opening social media right away. I stopped reading other people’s writings about the Bible (or anything else) early in the morning. I changed my first thing. I’ve been turning on classical music and first allowing myself to sit. Just sit (and sip coffee – I’m not thinking of relinquishing that at this time.) with no input. The only outside input I want initially is God’s and I can make the case that that is not external at all. I am learning to become sensitive to His voice and how my heart responds to it. And I’ll tell you something. I feel like my creative space expanded exponentially. I have more time  to create but more than that, I have a greater desire to create. More than my head, more than my heart, I believe I am hearing my soul. I have new ideas. I have to take notes as I ponder. My prayer journal has changed. I can hear what the Bible is saying. And as I allowed the classical music to play this morning, I heard “Chopsticks” in the Mozart. I didn’t know that was a thing. (Maybe it's not, but it sounded like it to me!)

This newly adopted practice reminds me that it’s not enough to stop something (like social media). We must add in something new. The Lord has been reminding me of this in numerous ways of late. Like the woman who swept her house clean of demons but left it empty, unattended, if we do not fill the void and take care, the demons can come back worse than before. Filling my new void with classical music inspires me and keeps me from missing what once was normal behavior. My head, heart and soul are engaged on a whole new level!