I’m sure I’m not the only one this happens to and I’m pretty
sure it’s happened to you. If not, then terrific. Be thankful! The issue I’m
talking about is that point where things just feel out of whack but you don’t
know what to do. You want a change and don’t know how to get it. Or you know but are resisting the do. It’s that tension that lies in between
one thing and your next best thing. What leads to this tension, this discord
and how can you fix it? How can you find the confidence to take your next step?
Clarity
Lack of clarity impedes progress. You cannot get where you
want to go when you don’t even know where you’re going. Gaining clarity gives focus
and is a major contributor to action. Clarity of purpose. Clarity of identity.
Clarity of end goals. Some people have more clarity around their issues than
other people and make the leap seemingly effortlessly. They feel the discord,
examine it, determine and action step and leap!
They have clarity. They know where
they are going. They may be unclear as to the path but know the one they’re on
won’t lead them to their desired destination so they leap off one path and onto
another. They are fueled by the clarity of their mission. They trust themselves
to work out the details later. Others of us lack that clarity and so we resist
change. They say, “A confused mind does nothing.” If this is you, there are
some things that can help lead to greater clarity and help you know what to do.
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is a great tool for starting this process. Do
you feel that sense of discord I mentioned? Are you experiencing a sense of being
misfit for your situation? Do you sense a holy dissatisfaction? Are you
misaligned with your goals and dreams? Do you feel burdened? Are you lacking
joy? Is your ego constantly engaged but rarely your heart? A head/heart
examination may be in order! Our logical mind wants safety, security, sameness.
Our heart engages with passions and calling. Which one is in charge of your
choices? Learning to be self-aware is powerful particularly in decision-making.
When you learn to recognize the misalignment, you can begin to evaluate
alternative paths. You must know where you’re going and rightly assess your
positioning in terms of the desired result.
Commitment
Knowing what you
are committed to is intensely valuable. Are you more committed to staying where
you are (even if it’s “wrong”) or to your mission and purpose? Are you more
committed to pleasing others or doing what’s best for you? Are you more
committed to resisting change or personal growth? The truth is, staying where
you are and doing what you’ve always done is rarely good for your personal
development. Picture a stagnant stream. The stream used to flow freely and was
vibrant. When it becomes dammed up, the stream just barely trickles through and
the stagnant water becomes unhealthy, toxic. Another image that comes to mind
is a roller coaster. It can move forward on its own momentum for a time but
without a forward charge of some sort will eventually move backwards when the climb
becomes steep. The point is no commitment to new action could leave you stagnant
and eventually backsliding. When fully committed to the end destination, as
best you see it now, you will be compelled to take action.
Values
Once you become aware of a misalignment and are committed to
your destination and purpose, it’s time to identify what’s wrong. Your personal
values may hold the key. Coaches can help with all of these areas but are
particularly helpful in assisting your discovery and definition of your core
values. If you are out of alignment in your core values, dissatisfaction is
sure to reign and you will find yourself frustrated, aggravated and in a state
of self-sabotage. Good news! It doesn’t have to stay that way! Gaining
understanding around your actual core values (versus what you may be telling
yourself they are) can move you towards a clear decision in an instant. This is
one of my most effective and as a result, favorite coaching tools. Your brain
will not let you be genuinely satisfied with things that do not align with your
true values. Values win over logic every time.
Urgency
What if there is a deadline to your dreams? What if change is
only possible in a certain time frame? What if – man! What if someone needs you on the next path and you refuse to
leap? I recently had a coaching session with a woman dealing with making a
major career change and walked her across an imagnary bridge. I urged her to
look at the end of the bridge and see the people that she may be uniquely qualified to help. Refusing to go to them, to help
them really isn’t even a possibility for this woman. If you add in a sense of
time urgency, the willingness to go multiplies. None of us is guaranteed a long
life. None of us have an infinite amount of time to complete our purpose. There
are things that will not, do not wait for us to become “perfect” or “good
enough”. We must leap into action now or risk missing work that is intended for
us.
Trust
This cuts to the quick of the problem. It’s so often a trust
issue. We don’t trust ourselves. We don’t trust God. We feel inadequate,
incapable. This is where I often remind people that it is God who supplies us,
equips us. In our weakness He is strong. We are not expected to be perfect. We
are called to action when God is ready for us to act – not think about acting.
I’m not suggesting reckless behavior but rather trust that we can do what we
feel called to do. Nothing more, but also nothing less. To not act is to
actually put full focus on ourselves. I believe it’s a type of self-deceit, a
type of arrogance – that we even can
do it ourselves. We cannot. However, each of us is fully qualified to do what
God has called us to do in each moment. He has put a call on my heart to serve
people through life-coaching. I trust Him to bring me those whom I’m able to
serve now and at the same time, I continue to study and develop my skills so
that I can serve others later. I trust myself to be able to carry out that
which I’ve learned up to this point and discern where I need more advice and
education. You, too, are enough to do what God wants you to do today. You can trust that.
I’m not suggesting this a complete list, but hopefully, it’s
a start. If you’re experiencing a constant awareness of dissatisfaction, be
honest with yourself. Get clear on your purpose and goals. Take a head/heart
assessment. Examine what you’re actually committed to. Evaluate your core
values. Apply a sense of urgency to the matter. Trust yourself enough to take
action today. You can prepare for tomorrow. 
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