Stormy Seas

This morning I spent some time in prayer thinking back over some of what I’ve been through the last few years. I am not going to recount all of the details here, but suffice it to say, I have weathered some storms. Some better than others, to be sure, but nonetheless, I am here today and find myself on solid ground. I’m less naïve, and that means wiser in some ways. In my prayer time, I was giving thanks for the journey. In fact, I found myself giving thanks for the actual storm(s).

Once upon a time I lived in Hawaii. Now, before I tell the story I’m here to tell, let me just tell you a little bit about living in Hawaii. To say it was awesome and leave it at that would be a gross understatement and leaving me sounding shallow. However, it was, indeed, awesome. I’ve heard that some people don’t like living there. In fact, I remember visiting, having the time of my life and saying as I left, “It’s beautiful, but I don’t think I could live here.” (There’s a whole message brewing in my head right now about how we deny ourselves dreams.) I was wrong! Living in Hawaii was fabulous. I believe part of the reason I loved it so much was that I determined to love it before I ever got there. You see, we didn’t choose it, the Air Force chose it for us but I knew it was a dream many would long for and so I decided to make the most of it. And I did.

Bellows AS, Windward Oahu

When I got to Hawaii, I started enjoying the beaches and the beauty of the mauka (mountains) right away. One week after we arrived, my husband had to travel (and my kids weren’t there yet) so I found myself alone, more or less, to explore. I had a very good friend living there, so we did some things together, but I also did things totally on my own. I drove myself around a big part of the island, along the water one Sunday, holding up my camera as I drove and clicking, hoping I’d catch some of the magnificence as I drove. Another evening, I drove to another part of the island and ended up in a very remote feeling area surrounded by mountains streaming waterfalls. It was amazing. I loved it all. I loved walking along the water. I loved hiking (eventually – I had to get in better shape to enjoy that). I loved snorkeling and soaking up the sunshine. Someone once told me I was a local girl. I wasn’t really that immersed, but I tried to be. I treasure that compliment from a true local.

One of the things I did while living in Hawaii was take sailing lessons. There’s a famous group of female instructors at Hickam Air Force Base called “The Wet Hens” and they’ve maintained sailing classes in Hickam Harbor since the 1960’s. It used to be by women for women, but men are allowed in the classes now. There’s a story that a bunch of military wives were hanging out at what is now called “Foster’s Point” and the beach area when it was being created and the Harbor Master (Foster) said, “What am I going to do with all you wet hens?”. He taught them to sail and thus began the famous sailing group. I’d been told I had to do it and so eventually I gathered up enough courage to    enroll in a class.

I had some fun times on the water. I was never a great sailor – primarily because when it got “sporty”, I got intimidated. I liked it calm, the way it looks in movies. Here’s the thing about calm. If there’s not enough wind, you don’t move. Sailors need some wind to go. When it’s too still you have to nudge your boat along until you hit a little puff of wind. No wind. No go.

After a "sunset sail" along Waikiki

Now some people love it quite windy. I’ve done that and made it through, but it wasn’t necessarily pretty. I wasn’t too confident (or even confident at all) about my ability to jibe. I didn’t remember in the moment the necessity of slow, controlled moving of the boom. It was high wind day and it was one of my early times on the water without a more experienced sailor onboard. We started into the jibe and I let the wind grab that sail and yank the boom across in an uncontrolled way that snapped us into a C-jibe (no Bueno) and would’ve capsized us if not for the 400 lb keel. It was rough! It scared me and maybe scarred me a little. Ok, it scarred me a lot. But, some love that kind of adventure. They embrace the challenging days on the water because they know it makes them a better sailor. I can appreciate that more now, but then it just felt like failure.

Hiking on Kauai 

This morning as I remembered my storm(s) – I say “storm(s)” because I’m not sure if it was a series of storms or one big one that lasted a few years – but as I remembered, I recalled the story of Jesus and the disciples out on a boat in rough seas. My pen was dancing around the question, “Was I in a storm because I was out of God’s will or because I had to go through the storm to get where I am? Or both?”. I hovered over this quite a while and then mused, “Would I have had the storms if I was following Jesus?” The answer in my soul was a resounding yes! 

Mark 4:35-41 New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Calms the Storm

Recreational Outrigger Paddling Hickam Harbor

³⁵ That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” ³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

³⁹ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

⁴⁰ He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

⁴¹ They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

The Big Island of Hawaii

You can be walking (or sailing) closely with Jesus. He can be right there in your boat and you can run into or get caught up in a dangerous, life-threatening storm. And sometimes, He’s sleeping in your boat, seemingly unaware of what you’re going through. But here’s what we forget, He can calm the storm. Does that irritate you a little? Or a lot? I get that! If Jesus can calm the storm, why is He letting me go through this? Oh, I’ve felt that. I’ve felt the panic as I tried to wake the slumbering Lord. I’ve felt the sense of desertion even though He was right there. All I’ve been able to grasp in my mind is that if Jesus allows the storm, He has a reason. He’s going to use that to teach me, to grow some spiritual muscle in me. That very storm and seeing Jesus’ calm in the midst of it, may be there very thing that enables me to glorify Him or help another in the midst of their storm. I just don’t believe God wastes our storms. And yes, like the disciples, we can be walking closely with Jesus and still face a storm.

Bellows AS, Windward Oahu

I needed that reminder today. My life storms can make me question my faith at times. But sometimes, here’s the kicker, sometimes you face the storm because you are following Jesus. The disciples were in that particular boat at that particular time because they were traveling with Him. This reassures me. It tells me that the things I’ve been through had a purpose. And now? Well, now I’m getting to enjoy the calm. The beauty of life after the storm. There will certainly be more storms in my future, but today I’m going to take in the view I get to enjoy because I survived the storm.