The Perfection of Imperfection

Even as I write the title, I am moved by truth. Imperfection is actually perfect. It blows me away to fully consider this. I am, by far, the most imperfect person I know. I can be selfish, rude,  self-serving, and shallow - and that's the tip of the iceberg. I eat when I'm anxious, sad, happy, and mad. I laugh at inappropriate things and can cry at the drop of a hat. I know I'm not supposed to care what you think about me, but I do. I am guilty of things that would very likely surprise you. And this is where I am today - imperfect and in that is it's own perfection.

Oh, I know how it sounds to the most religious of you. Glorifying in my sin. Celebrating things that are wrong. But, oh my dear friend, that's not how it is at all. My sin breaks my heart. I would that I was different - so very often. I grow. I learn. And by the grace of God, I change. I like to think I improve - and I believe I do. I simply do not know how to be where I am except by where I've been. Those imperfections? Those flaws are part of the very reason I know Jesus and are surely evidence that I needed a savior. I could not, cannot overcome my weaknesses on my own. Frankly, I'm just too imperfect for that.

So many things are coming together in my head this morning ... realizing I feel hurt by someone taking me off of their friend list, absorbing a mind-blowing Scripture passage, facing some negative consequences of positive action (reference the unfriending part), realizing not everyone will like me or agree with me... and reckoning with that. It's o.k. It really is. You don't have to like me. You don't have to agree with me. I'm not here to please you. And that means you're not here to please me - or anyone else for that matter.

In a Perfect World 
by Stephanie Redmond, 2018

In a perfect world

We’d all be perfect.

There’d be no sin, no guilt, no shame.

There’d be no wrong and

You couldn’t be disappointed by me

Or me by you.

In a perfect world

You wouldn’t talk behind my back

Nor I behind yours.

Love would cover all

And there’d be no need

For “You hurt me”,

“I was wrong” and

“Please forgive me”.

In a perfect world

Sheep wouldn’t stray and

Shepherds would care for the one who did.

There’d be no tears, divorce, or even death.

We would love richly, worship freely, and

Live happily -

Ever after.

In a perfect world

I suppose we’d have no need for God,

Would never seek His face or

Know the power of His grace.

Thank God this world is not perfect.

I am guilty.

Yesterday, I read a post that spoke of the hurt a loved one is feeling due to the public words of another. I don’t know the details. I don’t need to. I know how it goes. We get on the internet or alone with a close friend or in a text conversation and we say things about people we would never say to their face. And we think God can’t see and we rationalize our behavior and leave a mess in our wake as we walk away. And I’m guilty.

It wasn’t that long ago that I stood in the very presence of this person and complained about a situation and said unflattering things about someone else. Lord, forgive me. I have thought and thought about that scene and regretted what I did but I didn’t see my guilt. Maybe that’s not true, I saw my guilt and tried to dodge it, ignore it. And of course, I continue in my own self-righteous behavior, speaking good and evil out of my mouth and acting like it’s o.k.

As I understand the events that led to yesterday’s post, the person who did the offending is a Christian – you know, a person like me – someone who professes to love the Lord – and yet, is not only behaving in a way that is most unlike the Lord, I’m just gonna guess that – like me – he/she used their love for God to justify their behavior. #guilty

I am learning that in every situation, there is a lesson, a blessing or a gift – My friend, Diane, taught me that. So, in prayer this morning I started asking God to show my beloved family the lesson, the blessing or the gift in this ugly. Right now, there is pain and I’m not here to tell anyone they can’t hurt when painful things are done to them/you. I’m just saying God can still work and bless, teach, give good things. He makes all things beautiful.

One thing I realized immediately in their post is my own guilt. Now, let me try to make myself feel a little better and impress you a little… sigh … I genuinely try not to publicly bash anyone. Even those with whom I completely disagree. (And I take  pride in that.) *** Standing on this “ground” is completely unstable.*** There is ***zero merit*** in believing that makes me good or better – because, in private, in my pride, I fail. I sin. I am guilty.

Here’s what I think. I think that if my family knew that their pain (and public mention of it) led another to repentance, they would embrace it. I know them well enough. I believe this to be absolutely true. They wouldn’t like what happened, but they would thank God for it all the same. So, I write this. Maybe they’ll see how my own heart was impacted. And I fervently pray that others will be moved by their post, or by mine or by others, to repent. I pray that many will see their wrong and turn from their prideful, smug, sinful behavior and choose love instead. Choose kindness. Choose to honor God and others with their tongue. And, you know, there is a way to disagree, to state your beliefs without sin, without flinging flaming arrows at your brothers and sisters. Choose that way. I’m going to work on that starting right now.

Lord, I am guilty. I have hurt my brothers and sisters in the “name of Christ”. I am wrong. Please forgive me and show me a better way. Please remind me of this moment in the future when I am tempted to criticize. I am human but you call me to be like Christ. And, Lord, please heal the hurts of these who serve you so faithfully. May they see the good you can bring from the pain.  

NOTE: There is a lot on this subject in the Bible. You might try asking Google what the Bible says about gossip, how we are to talk as Christians, what does repent mean.