Are You Living Authentically?

I feel like I’m stepping right into something that I’m sure I’ll do poorly. And it doesn’t feel good. I like to perform well. I like to impress people. Yes, I’m just that shallow. And yet, as my joke goes, I know I’m not actually shallow because shallow people don’t know they’re shallow. I’m more like shallow-ish. And that need for approval has landed me in some deep kimshi in the past.

The topic at hand is authentic living – living authentically. What the heck does that mean and why does it matter anyway? I’m just gonna jump right on out there and suggest that if you have a need for constant approval, external praise, rewards for doing what you do – you might be living inauthentically. And trust me when I tell you I don’t think less of you for it. The person I see doing it is in the mirror. I really don’t have time to judge you, so you can let go of that worry right now.

This morning I pondered what it means to live authentically, and as I did I thought about things we might do that are inauthentic. Or shall I say, things I do or have done that are inauthentic. Some things that came to mind:

• Claim to be a Christian and yet not live according to Christ’s teachings consistently 
• Value health and wellness yet neglect my own
• Complain about not having enough time and yet waste so much of it – not even enjoying what I’m doing
• Desire a life of deep meaning and value yet clamor after temporal, superficial things

Celebrating 57 years!

Many of us get caught in a cycle of using our time, energy and money to accrue accolades and material things to impress others and/or puff up ourselves and give the impression that we’re something we’re not. Why? Because it impresses others and puffs us up – makes us feel like something. Yet, I bet if I asked you if you deep down really cared about those things and those accolades, you’d say no. If I asked you what you cared most deeply about, you’d probably say something like: family, faith, health, meaningful relationships, serving others. Dear friend, if you’re not making time for those things and are endlessly pursuing position, power and pleasing others, you are living inauthentically. And the heck of it is, it makes acquiring those things even harder. Worse yet, you’ll still feel empty when it’s all done.

Check in with your heart and soul. When you let people see the real you – the naked you, the no pretense you, you somehow quit caring as much what they think of you. It may take a while to free yourself from the chains of society’s conditioning and expectations so don’t let that fool you., but your internal satisfaction level will begin to climb. You will have greater peace when you are true to yourself.

I don’t know exactly how all of this plays out in real life -what it might look like for you. You may have to change careers, give up some financial or social status. You will certainly have to drop some of your masks – quit attending things you really don’t care about, stop hanging out with certain people, even dress differently. It can be scary to reveal your heart to others. Trust me.

One of my quirky things is I’ve started embracing my gray hair. Don’t get nervous. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I want to. I want to love my hair the way it actually is. I’ve been covering my gray since I was 27 years old.I also used my hair color to make me feel "good" when I was unhappy with my size. You might feel the need to start coloring your hair and go bold. That’s up to you!

Another thing I’ve done that’s more authentically me is drop the need for excess weight. I’ve decided I don’t want to hide my healthy self anymore. I don’t need that barrier.

I’ve gone back to college after 35 years. I was pretending that I didn’t have the education I needed to do the things I wanted to do. I’m changing that. I was created to do things that I’ve been resisting.

Your brand of authentic will look different from mine and that’s o.k. In fact, it’s perfect. As the saying goes these days, “You do you.”. At least then you’ll attract people who love you for you.

Copyright 2018, Stephanie Redmond