The Worst Thing You Can Say

Our culture is changing in America. We are increasingly aware of not offending others. Bullying is no longer acceptable. We’re governing speech in ways I haven’t known before.

I grew up in a much less sensitive environment. Racial comments were the norm and things that are now known to be offensive were once considered polite references. Our society misused words like “retarded” and made them insults, slurs. Back then it was considered funny to mock anyone who was different. Verbal bullying was o.k. It was normal to demean women, people of color, short people, tall people. Now? Not so much. We, I hope, are learning to be more aware of the impact of our words.

However, one area of speech that is gaining popularity is that of cursing. Rare is the day when you will hear anyone apologize for their profanity. It is, as far as I can see, considered a type of liberation. Ah, the complete freedom to say whatever you please, as long as it’s not offending anyone. Of course, it is offending people, but not in the way I've already mentioned. 

I recall sitting at a restaurant, and this has happened more than once, dining near a table of military members. We, and others around us, were dining with our families. Oblivious to those around them, the group used one curse word after another and they did so loudly, taking no concern for those they may have been offending nor of the children around them. My husband discreetly stepped over and drew their attention to the families in their vicinity and they kindly changed their talk. I appreciated that. However, that was 10 years ago. I’m not sure that would be so effective today.

The language on t.v is coarse, the jokes are crude. And I wonder, is the majority unaware that others find their language offensive? Now, let’s be clear, I don’t hold myself up as the greatest example of all, to be sure. I have plenty plenty of flaws and I can be found guilty of language issues myself. My goal is not to condemn but rather to offer a view, draw awareness.

In recent years, I’ve become aware of the way profane language is tossed around so casually. So insensitively. And of course, the “F” word has become the new norm.  It’s everywhere. Believe it or not, this hasn’t always been the case. Until fairly recently, this word was whispered, mouthed, implied but never blurted out in polite company. Not that I’m aware of. I mean, the military people I was around used it freely among themselves, but other than that, I rarely heard it and even then, if it was uttered, there was also a sense  that it might not be appreciated by everyone. Again, I’m just drawing awareness.

You might think that I believe this is the worst thing you could say. This major curse word, once reserved for the worst of situations, this surely must be the worst. But it isn’t. Not in my mind anyway. The worst thing I believe anyone can say to another is a phrase that I’ve heard my entire life. One rarely covered up. One delivered in jokes. One friend to another.

The worst thing I think you could say to someone else is “Go to hell.”. We say it so casually and I doubt we consider what we’re actually saying. To curse someone to hell is to say “No eternal life for you!” “No Jesus for you!” “Live with the mortal enemy of Christ forever!”. That’s what that phrase means. It grieves me to hear it. And the worst part? I’ve said it. In anger, I have viciously flung that phrase. And I regret it.

Our language can be a beautiful gift. We have the choice when we speak to lift others up or not. With our mouths, we can bless or we can curse. Our words can give life and hope. The Scripture says we should not bless God and curse man who is made in God’s image from the same mouth (James 3:9,10) – and yet we do. Christians are told to “let no unwholesome talk come out of [our] mouth” (Ephesians 4:29).

All of this to say, our language matters. Our words matter. We would do well to censor ourselves sometimes simply out of respect for others around us. And when we choose to curse, we might benefit from considering what we are actually saying. I would not actually wish hell on anyone but the vilest offender – and even for them, I’d like to think I could pray for their soul to be save and their life changed.